Monday, June 25, 2007

99.44/100 PURE

Well, among other things this weekend my human decided to clip my toe nails when an INCIDENT happened. She was clipping and I was trying to get away and then pain shot up my toes. I was bleeding - let me assure you it wasn't a pretty sight.

Why can't my human just paint my toes like Sophie's human aunts - look how pretty and I am sure there is never an ugly scene!!
We were home alone as Dad was working and needless to say Mom went into panic mode. I leaped away from Mom and started scurrying all over the house so she couldn't lop off any more toes. (Liza: I DID NOT lop off a toe!) After a few minutes of chasing she finally caught me, my severed toe left blood everywhere - the house looked like the beach at Normandy on D-Day.

Mom then called poor Dad at work, he said since we didn't have a styptic pen to rub a bar of soap on the gaping wound. (Liza: It was not a gaping wound!) Well she go out a new bar of ivory soap and began rubbing - nothing stopped, I feared amputation was the next step. (Liza: NO amputation was not the next step!)
So then the human called the vet and they told her to dip my toe in flour or cornstarch and call back if it didn't work. Thank DOG it did work, but then Mom proceeded to wrap my paw in gauze and tape - what was she NUTS!

Needless to say I went to work immediately to chew my paw to freedom! (Liza: I was trying to keep the wound clean and the house a little less bloody!) I also decided to chew up and eat that silly old soap just to show my human who is boss around here. It didn't taste very good but it was fun watching Mom scurry around the house looking for it!! (Liza: I can't believe she ate SOAP - YUCK! I expected her to start burping bubbles like the dog on the Little Rascals!)

My mom has taken an oath to seek professional assistance from this day forward when it comes to my nails. If you see a human with something that looks like this in their hands - RUN!!!

(Liza: OKAY - I was mortified when I clipped her nail enough to make it bleed. I promise to have the vet or the Laundromutt clip her nails from this day forward. Dory is fine now - the toe incident and soap eating haven't seem to phase her in the least!! That dog has a cast iron stomach - all I found were a few shards of soap in the den!!)


Ferndoggle said...

Yowza! I have never done that & I guess that's why I hadn't cut my dogs toenails until recently! And Penny & Lola's toes are white!!

Hope Dory is all recovered and isn't having any after effects from the soap. I would think that wouldn't be real easy on the digestive tract!


Gus said...

hooey muzzer has one of those things in a drawer. Every once in a while, she gets is out and looks at it. Sometimes she even carries it around with her. She has never gotten up the nerve to try it, though. Thank Dawg. I hope your mommy has learned! And I hope you recover soonest.

Ruby Bleu said... dogness that is horrible. It is amazing you have survived such an ordeal. I HATE having my nails trimmed! And I would never let my crazy Mom do it...only a trained professional! Except she did let the 'trained professional' paint my nails bright red...which I didn't much like...I looked like a puppy ho. Not a good look for me!

Stay safe...Lots of Licks, Ruby

Peanut said...

Mom has done that to me before. She doesn't get as upset as your mom though I think she should. She just makes it stop bleeding and keeps cutting my other nails. Good job on the soap eating. My parents had to stop buying Ivory soap because that is the only soap I will eat and I will do anything to get it.

PiratesGrrl said...

Those clipper things are evil, pure evil.

Glad you're ok now and don't have to stay in the hospital for your huge wounds.

Poor you. :(

The Brat Pack

Boo said...

oh dory, i like the colour very much. but since i'm a boy, LAY OFF MY TOES MA!

wet wet licks


Lorenza said...

Hi, Dory.
I am sure it was a traumatic situation for you!!
My mom doesn't even think about clip my nails because she is afraid something like this could happen.
I hope that soap doesn't make you feel sick later!
Have a nice day

TAPhillips said...

Youch! We hate it when somebody tries to amputate our toes... although dogmom is getting pretty good at it so we don't have to go someplace else where they're not as careful!

We're tagging you for the seven-random-facts friendship tag game. See our blog for details about what you have to do.
Wuf Ya! - Gomer & Opie

We'd lick your toes for you if we were there!

Maggie said...

Mom clipped my nail too short once and we did have that steptic powder stuff and it didn't work immediately and mom freaked! She felt just awful but the damage was done! I bled like a stuck pig too! Mom says she's read that cutting a nail too short is like a human pulling a hangnail. It hurts! Right you are mom! I hope this slip on your mom's part earned you lots of cookies Dory! BTW if my mom even THINKS about coming after me with those nasty looking clippers, I pretend I'm going to hang myself and she gives up on the idea! I've got mom wrapped around my little finger on this subject!

Love ya lots,

Butchy & Snickers said...

Oh poor Dory,
Tell your Mama to get a nail grinder like our Mama has. We don't mind it near as bad as those nasty clipper things. Mama has never hit our quik yet, & if you do with the grinder, you hold it still on the nail for 3 seconds & it seals the wound so the bleeding stops. Hope your nail doesn't hurt.
Luv & Wirey Hugs!
Butchy & Snickers
PS Mama bought a grinder kit at Menard's, much cheaper than the doggy nail grinders. Plus you can use it for all kinds of things around the house.

wally said...

Poor Dory. Do you have a new leash on life after your near death experience? My ma ape doesn't clip our nails because they are black and she can't see how much to cut. We went to the groomers last week and they said we really don't have any to cut--I guess because we walk a lot. They found that out, however, after making be BLEED like a stuck pig.


Sophie said...

Dory, You and my mom had almost exactly the same experience this weekend. Except she didn't eat soap. But there was lots of blood.

Are you farting big bubbles into the air right now? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

p.s. I thought I recognized those paw photos. How mortifying that was for me, although hearing about your experience, I'll take the painting any day if given the choice.

Sophie Brador said...

That was Sophie Brador, by the way.

Sparky said...

It's because we are black Dory...our humans are too dumb to see the quick! My mama tried to kill me too a couple of weeks ago, and it hurt so badly - I yelped with all my might. Luckily, my pop had some magic stuff that he uses for nicks on his face, and we were back in business...but she never did finish the nail cutting job. To get her back, I drew my nails down her bare legs and left scars!

Joe Stains said...

holy crap I hope you got some photos in case you decide to sue her?? ;)

Avery said...

Ouch Dory! I you recovered and aren't upset with your mom anymore. Luckily my mom hasn't had that problem with me (knock on wood!), but I have mostly clear nails so that certainly helps. Mom says that if my nails were dark she wouldn't want to clip them herself. Too scary!

Sympathetic wags,

Ronin_The_Pug said...

Wow Dory! I know all about the nail thing... I bled too the last time the humans clipped my nails... is so nasty!

Tealeaf said...


I hate it when they do that. Just don't let those pesky humans near your precious paws again. Ever. Then you can have lurcher talons.

Ben_Benjamin said...

Ouch!! Dory, are you getting better now?? I hope so...and never ever let them touch your nail again !!

Lady Kaos said...

Mom refuses to clip my nails now, too. She cut the tip of my toe off once, too. There wasn't much blood and Dad was there so I didn't get far, but she still feels really guilty. From now on either Dad does it (he's pretty good at it) or if Sasha's going in for a haircut, Dad will take me along to get my nails clipped. mom says it's worth the $5 for someone else to do it.
Your Sorta Sis Kaos